Duct Tape Vs. Hot Glue
And now for all those women out there who wonder "is he or isnt he?" I will now give you a short checklist on how to tell if your child/husband/brother/boyfriend is gay or straight. Here goes:
1. Straight men use duct tape, gay men use hot glue.
2. Straight men have bare bulbs hanging from the ceiling, gay men have wall sconces.
3. Straight men say "Fuck", gay men say "Fuck Me".
4. Straight men have yellow stains around the bottom of their toilet, gay men have fluffy purple toilet cozies.
5. Straight men use aftershave, gay men use Clinique moisturizing lotion (or at least I do).
6. Straight men own 3 pair of shoes, gay men own 3 pair for every outfit.
7. Straight men watch football and baseball, gay men watch gymnastics and swimming.
8. Straight men love to watch lesbian porn, gay men love to watch straight men watching lesbian porn.
9. Straight men love gym class, gay men prefer home economics.
10. Straight men love to get head, gay men love to give it.
11. Straight men like Jennifer Aniston, gay men like Brad Pitt.
12 Straight men shop for clothes at Sears, gay men shop at Banana Republic.
13. Straight men drink beer, gay men drink Zima.
14. Straight men drive trucks, gay men drive convertibles.
15. Straight men watch ESPN, gay men watch Lifetime.
That's all I can think of right now but there are many, MANY more. This list will also work to help you identify those women in your life who always seem to be to eager to get to gym class, just substitue the word Lesbians for the words straight men.